I spoke with and chose a licensed home study provider today. Laura’s demeanor was helpful, knowledgeable, and courteous as we discussed the initial procedures involved in our evaluation. As our conversation progressed, I grew more comfortable with her and felt she is the right person for this job. A big job, indeed. She will send us an informational packet, with all the checklists, paperwork, and protocol we must follow – like how to get our fingerprints scanned and what files we need to gather for her; the sooner we get these things handed in to her, the sooner she can come and do the official interviews with us in our home.
It became a bit more real for me as I clicked off my phone, set it on the table, and analyzed how I felt about talking with her. This step is a dramatic and real inauguration into the adoption world; every adoptive parent must submit to the home study and basically give a complete stranger every detail of their life. This step ensures we are not doing this for the wrong reasons, and that we are not going to be incompetent parents. Considering I have children already I hope I “pass” the test! I am glad I found a professional who is to-the-point, honest, and does not care that I have so many questions about her process. I am glad God is opening doors for this – she was the third person I spoke to directly about a home study and I was starting to feel like I wouldn’t find a suitable match for us. I was pleasantly wrong.
As we go forward, it is going to be important for me to document this process. Writing is how I handle my mind when it wanders, and how I reign in my emotions when things are unclear or difficult. I put things here, and I am most honest on these pages. Throughout this amazing experience, it is important for me to keep a record of what it feels like, what we go through, and how it works out for us so that not only can I share that with you, dear reader, but it will also be a sweet keepsake for our son. He will get a complete picture of what this was like for us, his mom, dad, and sisters… He will know that I cared for him before we even met.
I hope to have our home study done no later than the end of this month, August, 2017. If it can be done in the next two weeks, even better! The faster we can get approved by the State, the faster we can start reaching out and sharing this website, and our profile, so that hopefully soon we can match.
Match. What an interesting word that is used in the adoption circle. I suppose it indicates a sense of kinship or union; it induces a connection that is necessary in such a special situation. I want whomever “chooses” us to feel like she has made a match. Because it is one that will bond us for life.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what type of adoption we are comfortable with, and what that will look like long term. I am open to completely respecting the wishes of the expectant mother, but also do feel that semi-open is at least how much connection I want to keep with her as time marches forward. I know that our son will have questions as he grows, and it will be a beautiful thing if we have the ability to answer his questions as they come. It will be a beautiful thing, if permitted, to be able to show her pictures of her child as he grows, and if both are receptive to it, for them to meet when he, and she, are ready. Again, I know this is all unique to the wishes of his expectant mom, but I think – for me – I would be happy to share pictures and more with her, if that is what she wants.
I’ve got to go because the kids are making concoctions in the kitchen, and I am sure there are messy counter tops and sticky floors to tend to; this is the life of a stay-at-home mom, and I love it. Really I just wanted to take a couple of minutes to share what I was thinking and feeling, and put that here. Hopefully I’ll get to do this at least a couple of times a week.